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Wednesday, March 25, 2009

It's That Time of the Year Again



You may have guessed that something was up yesterday with the dick-related post and with yet another one today your suspicions are now confirmed; it is indeed Venezuelan National Penis Week once again (as declared by president for life Hugo Chavez only a few years ago). A quick check of the archives will reveal a mid-December date but the holiday, as decreed by El Presidente, moves back and forth month-wise, between December and March. http://slapper58.blogspot.com/2007/12/members-only.html


http://slapper58.blogspot.com/2007/12/venezuelan-national-penis-week-at-blob.html

To celebrate I've unearthed a clip from last February dealing with a beloved TV character....I missed it when it first aired, sort of just slipped through the crack I guess, but thanks to the internet here it is as fresh, relevant, and penisy as ever:

http://www.tvshark.com/read/?art=arc3132

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Oh What a Night!!


Alaska's Mount Redoubt Erupts -- and Erupts and Erupts -- Five Times in One Night

March 23, 2009

Mount Redoubt, Alaska has finally erupted after two long months of teasing with tremors and steam puffs. The first eruption took place at 10:38 pm March 22, 2009. This initial eruption was estimated to have shot ash just below 20,00 feet in the air and rose the alert level from
Orange/Watch which was elevated after a
small hiccup last week, to Red/Warning. Mount redoubt has erupted four more times following the first eruption on Sunday evening. The second at 11:02 pm, the third at 12:14 am March 23, 2009, a forth at 1:39 am, and the most recent at 4:37 am. As of yet the highest cloud height has been an impressive 50,000 feet.


So begins the newswire report about the mountain's first eruption in a lengthy 20 year refractory period.

Young in geological terms and virile by any standards, this stud of a volcano put on a show that had many a nearby hillock quaking and shivering in response.

Mt. Redoubt, shown at left enjoying a post eruption smoke, spewed its final load close to 15,000 meters. Mused visiting vulcanologist Spenk Urmler; "That was quite an impressive display....5 times, and such height!! I can go once a night, maybe twice and I'm lucky if I can hit the computer screen!"

(ed. note: Bad Segue Alert)

And while we're on the subject of male sexuality let me invite you to follow this link to an interview by Terry Gross with the actor Jason Segel (pictured below). Terry Gross, of the venerable NPR program Fresh Air, is perhaps the finest interviewer on the continent but she outdoes herself here with what may be the very best question I've ever heard followed by an answer from Segel that is every bit as incredible. This will be well worth your while....trust me (don't worry, it's funny and in no way educational.) http://www.npr.org/templates/player/mediaPlayer.html?action=1&t=1&islist=false&id=102232289&m=102241615

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

A Whiff of Spring

It's that magical time of the year once again here in the North country. Hearts hardened by a winter's worth of miserable cold now thaw like the crud covered piles of snow that encase our cities. There's a sense of promise and renewal in the air and also the unmistakeable aromas that accompany this annual transition to springtime. As happy as we are about the return of warm weather just think of how overjoyed our dogs are; dogs, who experience the world through senses that have been honed to a keen edge by eons of evolution. Their noses are 7,000,000 times more sensitive than our own (ed note: possibly an exaggeration) and their hearts at least as big. Imagine then their joy, as a simple walk outdoors becomes a canine version of trolling through FaceBook looking up old pals. The frozen turds of January (turn of phrase available for book or movie. Prices may vary) are warming now as well and as they do they give of fragrant hints of friends who have passed by long ago. If you think we, with our limited sensory capacity, are happy these days just imagine our beloved furry companions.

If only there was a way to give them this joy during the more or less housebound winter months.

Here at The Blob we've scanned the internet and have found just such a product. They've been added to the sponsor list...did someone say "spring is in the air"?
Speaking of dogs here's a little clip that you may find amusing;

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

A New Sponsor (yay)




Satellites colliding, an asteroid coming dangerously close to Earth.....stories in the news of late and stories that will be repeated more frequently, if what trusted scientists and engineers are telling us, is true.


Here at Pro-Techs our goal is not to alarm but to protect you, the consumer, from these impending disasters and with that in my mind we are proud to unveil The ASTRO 3000; the very lastest in space debris and asteroid cranial protection.

Our latest model comes from the factory straight to you with many exciting new safety features including a space age Absorbotron interior and the new LOMS (large object motion sensor) system for maximum comfort and protection.

Leave your house with confidence wearing a new ASTRO 3000!!




Thursday, March 05, 2009

The 7 Good Qualities - #3: Tact



Paradise Girl said:


Ah Maria, if you're going to take the Blob in a contest at least make it a fair one!!! You know he has forsaken drinking booze so choose another talent like a bake off or eating him under the table.


This excerpted comment, courtesy of Turks or Caicos resident Paradise Girl, will help me illustrate Good Quality #3. You see...the Maria she refers to is none other than Blob regular Maria Callous, the young and voluptuous daughter of 2 dear friends, also habitual Blobites.

The comment presented me with a moral dilemma in the guise of a fabulous straight line, i.e. the last 5 words. An innocuous, idiomatic expression sure enough but at just a slightly different angle all sorts of images of another type of interesting contest emerge.

I've decided to take the high road and forsake all manner of crude punchlines because I think of young Maria as my daughter or niece or at very least the perverted, sinful, daughter or niece I never had. In so doing I am displaying TACT, the very quality that seperates us from the wild beasts that populate the land, sea and sky of our fragile planet.

TACT is the art of appropriate behaviour and timing, discernment, and context are its essence.

A chimp, for instance, has no qualms about eating his own excrement in public but most of us wouldn't be caught dead engaging in such a vile demonstration.

I won't take the bait Paradise Girl and any suggestions, even of the "golden straight line" variety, about having Maria "eat me under the table" have fallen on deaf and tactful ears.

Let me be an example to us all!!